It wasn't easy but I persevered. Even though this was one of the saddest stories I have read, it was beautiful as well. Thank you...
I'm so glad you persevered and finished. I truly do believe it's a tribute to the love story of Brian & Justin. I thank you for taking the time to comment. It still means the world to me even after all this time.
I don't know if I can continue with this story. I am completely overwhelmed and clutching all my pearls, but I am going to try to see it through to the end.
Omg. All the feels. I couldn't even finish chapter three. Going to have to read this at a later date. Amazing though.
I cried and cried and cried and cried some more. My face is still wet.
Just found this story...what a heartwrenching one is it...I knew it was going to be rough but jeeze...that was really tough.
Great writing! It's been an emotional weekend for me anyway but this story touched me deeply. Well done...would love to read more from you!
5am and I have just finished sobbing my way from start to finish through this remarkable and heartwrenching story. Truly one of the most amazing and emotional stories I have ever read and I thank you for it even as the tears continue to flow. I can only hope Justin found peace and love in his lifetime and I truly hope there is some sort of "ever after" where he will be reunited with Brian again.
I got to chapter three and it wouldn't accept the code, so I couldn't move on.
I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
Oh, dang it. I'm needing the kleenex. And since i"m old and was an avid reader years ago, I think I've read this.
It feels familiar.
So far, so good. I would have loved it if Brian could have used his words. :)
I'm moving on to the next chapter, and I'm hoping I won't need kleenex for the second chapter.
This was really good. It kind of felt like I got kicked in the ribs after I read it though. I kind of had to skim through to keep from crying.
This story was recommended by a friend and this first chapter is wonderful, but I'm so afraid to read on. What should I do?
I can't promise it isn't sad, but I can promise that it's all about the B/J love. Does that help?
I just found this story and actually had to stop several times to cry my eyes out. It was beautiful. I would love to see them together after Justin dies so brian can tell him how proud he is of his sunshine!! Thanks for a lovely story
It does my heart good to know people are still finding this story. One thing I believe for certain is that Brian was there with Justin all along. Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to comment. It means so much!
OY!!! Why did I have to read this on Christmas? I read it and cried and cried an cried. This is tragicly beautiful. Great job.
This is the best story I have ever read. I cried threw most of it.It was so beautiful,but also so sad.I felt like i was there and it was happening to me.
Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to know there are still people finding this story and enjoying it (well, enjoying might not be the right word *g*). Losing Brian is just about the saddest thing I can imagine, but I always say that feeling our hearts break every now and then reminds us that we have one. Thanks for taking the time to comment, it is so appreciated it.
OH GOD, I hate you for making me cry so much!!!
Truthfully I always thought they would kill of Brian at the end. Miraculously they didnt.thank god for small favours.This was so good, but definitely not something you read alone at night far away from family.
even though a tiny part of me wants to eat you alive(kidding) for doing this to brian, this has been one of the most amazing fanfics I'v come across in a long time...You rock! :)
Ha! Nothing like thanking someone for telling you they hate you :) It's okay though, I hated myself a little for it, too. Seriously though, thank you so much for the nice words. I'm always happy to know there are still people finding this story.
OMG, I can't even imagine what the reaction would've been if they had killed Brian off at the end of QAF. I think CowLip would've had to go into hiding!!! Although, I have to admit, I wouldn't mind seeing the performances it would've brought.
Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment. It is appreciated very much.
oh god, that was...beautiful. so utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful. i don't know why i read stories like this; i know that i'll end up doing exactly what i am right now--sobbing uncontrollably. now i have to watch season five and assure myself that this isn't real and that brian's alive and...ugh.
but seriously, this was amazing. i do have a question though: hunter and amber used a sperm donor, right? i just want to be sure, because aside from crying my eyes out i'm also concerned as to whether or not a ficitonal HIV positive character impregnanted his wife the good ol' fashioned way.
i guess that's it. you did a great job with this :')
Thank you so much for the kind words. It makes me happy to know people are still finding this story and I really appreciate the comment. Believe me, I understand needing to see our Brian alive and well after reading. Me too!
As for Hunter having kids - I actually did a fair bit of research on this to make sure I wasn't writing something impossible. There is quite a lot out there about 'sperm washing', which allows HIV positive men to father healthy children. It still involves artificial insemination, so the likelihood of twins is high. I know it's only a couple of lines in the story, but I try to be as accurate as I can.
Oh my God. I'm at work and I just wish reading this. I choked back tears three different times while reading it. I'm going home today and reading it again and having a proper cry. Thank you. It was beautiful and I never thought I'd say that about a death fic.
OMG, this story made me cry. you did a wonderful job on it
Thank you so much! I'm sorry for the long overdue response - I don't know how I missed these comments. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
I just finished this story on second try because after Brian died I had to stop. But I braced myself and read again for second time. I don? remember time when I cried so much but story is great. I especially love the letters that Justin write to Brian. Sad but great story!
‘Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy'.
This is absolutely one of my top ten favorite stories anywhere. It tore my heart out and made me happy to go on the ride.
Well, well written and told.
Dang, I don't know how I missed this comment! I really appreciate everyone who takes the time and always want to acknowledge it. Thank you so much for the kind words. Considering the amazing stories this fandom has produced, I'm so flattered to be considered a favorite. :)
Congrats on having your story picked for this month. I found it very moving, well written and one that I won't forget.
I can't think of a nicer compliment for a story than for it to be remembered after the window closes. Thank you so much, and for taking the time to let me know. I appreciate it so much.
This story has been selected by a secret cyber fairy to be our Featured Story for June, 2012. Thank you for sharing it on Whispers.
Oh wow, thank you, and thank you to the secret cyber fairy. I'm honored and thrilled to know that people are still finding or re-reading Valediction. Endless thanks to CowLip and to Gale & Randy for bringing life to my two favorite people of all time (even if you can't tell by the things I've done to them here ;-). Brian & Justin forever!
Beautiful, heart breaking yet soothing and hopeful...maybe I can comment more coherently after I'm done bawling my eyes out...it just killed me..reminds me why I don't usually read death fic,it's so exhausting, but i don't regret it one bit, cause all through it you let their love shine through. Thank you
"Hopeful" I love that word! And I love that you took that from the story, because it's true. It really is all about love, and yeah, heartbreak and pain, too - but hope at the end of it all. I'm very happy that you've no regrets after taking a chance on a death-fic. That is the best compliment I can think of. Thank you for that, and for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it very much.
thank you for your warm response!! I am so moved, really
The "rightness" of Brian´s death, yes, that's exactly what I mean, and I am so happy I´m not the only one who does NOT think this idea is totally crazy. I´ll never believe that this idea never emerged in the scriptwriters' minds, and yes, we can see it in Brian's. And I don't believe it's only my fantasy that they may have opted for a suicide or cancer return for Brian Kinney if Gale Harold had said he was going to quit before the show was over:) they would, I'm sure, have come up with something for any other character's death if they didn't like the simple idea of taking himher away^) but I have always thought it would have been the most natural and smooth thing for Brian, rather than for someone else. If one can use these words to speak about anybody's death:( Because he is so... perfect, so beautiful. A pure soul. Someone to shine through Justin´s life no matter what happens, wherever he goes. How else could that be? (Jesus, look at me, I cried my eyes out when I was reading the most angsty part of your story, I don't like deathfics much because real life is pretty angsty itself, and yet I say it is the "right" thing!).
I hope I am not being too kinky here **smiles through tears**
I have some thoughts to share about the Justin (and folks) part of your story which I love soooo much too, it evokes so many feelings, so overwhelming, so much love, no, LOVE for Justin. So I'll come back;) It is just the saddest part of the story goes first, though I never stopped crying all the way through to the epilogue.
The epitaph... it gave me goosebumps. Oh yes... He knew. He knows. They both know. Always have, always will. *sobs*
As much as I think it would have been the most riveting episode of television, ever, I think CowLip would have had to go into witness protection if they'd killed off Brian Kinney. LOL! It would have made quite an alternate ending though, wouldn't it? I am such a sucker for these kinds of storylines though. For me, the fantasy angst is actually a relief from the angst of real life. I love sad movies, sad songs, sad.... commercials. *sob* I think maybe it's because having your heart broken (ficticiously) reminds you that you have one, you know? A good cry every now and then is kind of a balm to the soul. I love the idea of Justin loving Brian forever, beyond death, but not dying along with him. It's a tribute to both of them.
I love reading your thoughts on the story and I look forward to any others you care to share with me. Thank you again!
I am speechless. This is amazing, incredible, absolutely brilliant and totally heartbreaking. So sad and so beautiful. I read the first three chapters at work (it wasn't the right thing to do, I know, but I couldn't help it) and went out right after that to get some fresh air AND to cry and to take some time before getting back to reading the rest of it:((
I am not into deathfics in particular, but this one is a gem. Deep inside, I have always had this strange feeling that Brian's death would have been something in line with the plot and a logical step for all the characters. He IS perfection while everybody else is as imperfect as human can be, but does perfection exist? He should have died a legend and remain a legend in his friends' hearts, and never be forgotten. And you made him one.
So, from the point of view of the dramatic art I felt it was the right step; personally, emotionally I have all my sympathies on his side => you pleased my need for both with this most touching and emotionally charged story, and ther's love in every single line of it. You ARE a gifted writer (well I am sure you already know it by now:))
*sniffs* still, can't get the picture of Brian's tombstone out of my mind and it brings back memories somehow... people in my life who I loved and lost (((
I'd say "thank you" but it is too small a word to express my thanks...
HUGS and MORE HUGS and EVEN MORE HUGS
(as I said, English is not my native language, forgive me if I sound awkward)
Oh my, you have made my afternoon (and quite possibly my day, week and month) with your comment. I've said it many times, but it's worth saying again - I appreciate every single person who reads, but I have a special place for those who don't like deathfics, but take a chance anyway and find that the story captures them. It really is a love story, not a death story. Your comment about the 'right-ness' of Brian's death really struck me. I'm not sure I've ever heard this expressed before in this fandom, and I have to say - it's fascinating. He toyed with the idea himself, more than once, didn't he? The scarfing, the plan to go to 'Ibiza' (and I will always believe that was his plan until his encounter with Justin in his office). I think this Brian, who resisted those demons and came out on top, ready to commit to his blond boy and take on the world - this Brian really would have lived forever in their hearts. I am just so proud that you feel I accomplished that with my story. Thank you so, so much.
Do you know the translation of the words Justin chose for Brian's epitaph? Nunc scio sid amor. Now I know what love is. I think they applied equally, to both our boys, and they taught me a whole lot more about it, too.
And your English is just lovely. Perfect, really. Many, many hugs in return.