honestly i loved it really. thank you for all your work
Please pardon my tardy response! Very happy to see your review and see this story being entertaining still to people, rukia12.
Wow was some story, I loved everything about it x from chapter 1 up to the last. It had everything you could dream of in a story. Excellent work seriously excellent
Once again I must ask to be excused for being late in responding to your review comment. Thank you for the kind words; you made my day. Looking back I wish I had done a better ending but I was burned out writing that epic tale and just had to end it and take a long break. Glad to see you sharing your work on Whispers, vic32. I don't write anymore or read much since I'm the tech support for this website and others which leaves me very little time to do stuff like fan fiction. If you can handle a crack!fic, may I suggest my story "Embraced" with a vampire Brian and his slave Justin.
I'm loving this story so much and I am from Limerick Ireland so was so thrilled to see it pop up here.
Thank you! My ancestors come from Ireland and Scotland.
Thanks for your responses to my reviews! Always good to have a review conversation with the author.
Yes, you're right that Melanie and Lindsay moved to Canada for safety in a more gay-friendly environment. My issues with the move were: 1) I didn't see how moving away from their friends and family would make things better. Their relationship had been on shaky ground and they--at least partially--resolved to try again because they were scared to lose each other in the aftermath of the bombing. I don't see, however, how that would resolve the underlying problems, especially considering the distance from friends and family. 2) Lindsay was always pretty adamant about Brian playing a part in Gus' life. Sure, he could fly in for visits, but that would likely be limited to 1-2 times per month. And if Lindsay really wanted Brian involved as Gus' father (regardless of having given up his legal rights to get rid of Guy and keep Linds and Mel together), she wouldn't take Gus so far away.
I hope to soon have time to escape from real life and enjoy more of your story! Always a pleasure to enter the world of an interesting QAF fanfic.
I recall responding to this review but perhaps I forgot to submit my comments. Please excuse the delay.
Thank you for your clairfication of the canon issues which you certainly have an excellent grasp about them. I'm rapidly approaching the age when I'll have forgotten more than I ever learned! :)
Do enjoy the story and I'd love to hear from you on the way.
While I thought both Lindsay and Michael manipulative and annoying, I didn't picture them as evil...and they both are in this story. Michael always seemed a bit of a dim bulb and incredibly whiny. Lindsay seemed pretty smart and definitely yearned after Brian, wanting to create her fantasy of the perfect family.
I never could figure out how moving to Canada would do much to solve Lindsay and Melanie's problems in the long term. The underlying problems wouldn't go away, and it was cruel to take Gus away from Brian, especially since Lindsay manipulated the situtation with Justin so he'd go to NYC.
I recall in the show that the move to Canada was more the result of the anti-gay environment growing in the USA at the time so the girls wanted to escape that stuff. Am I right?
I know Lindsay was good to Justin initially, but then I felt like she became possessive of Brian and wanted to separate the two of them, as well as living vicariously through Justin as an artist in NYC. Personally, I liked Mel far more than Linsday.
Me too. Lindsay seem so two faced to me, and plotting against Brian due to her being in love with him or something more creepy.
I just discovered this story and really like the opening chapter...with many more chapters to enjoy. It always made sense to me that Justin would work with Brian; it's not as though he can't paint, too. Plus, he doesn't have to be in NYC to make it as an artist.
It's also good to see Michael put in his place, although I'm sure that hasn't happened in its entirety in this first chapter. Brian's loyalty to his friends was commendable but the codependence (with Michael and somewhat with Lindsay) was unhealthy. If his so-called friends truly wanted Brian to grow up, they shouldn't have tried to manipulate him and hold him back at the same time. Emmett and Ted were the true friends, not Michael and Lindsay.
A huge thank you for reviewing this older epic tale. I'm not a good writer; however, I do have a vivid imagination where it is apparent in this story. It will go places where no one has ever gone before. Things move very fast too, so you should not get bored along the way. In reflection I may have too many characters overall, and it might help to keep a notepad of each new one if you don't want to get confused. Totally not necessary; you can just read over the names and flow with the plot. Do enjoy and thanks again for the chapter reviews.
I've just begun to read your story and i'm already completely blown away.
I'm sooooo happy that i discovered the story so late as i have so many chapters to read :)
I love the storyline and i'm really impressed with all the details you bring up all the time, regarding advertising contracts, tax, comission fees and all. You must have a great knowledge of these things.
Well, just wanted to let you know that i love the story and i'm looking forward to read the rest of the chapters.
Keep going! *thumbs-up*
Thank you for reading and reviewing this epic tale. My background includes living with a man once who owned an advertising agency in California. And I have some history with real estate which taught me much on the business side of things. Then there's story research I needed to learn to make the plot work with reasonable facts. I do hope you enjoy the tale and review again.
New age, psychic anhauser Busch. God I love it!
What a behemoth this story is and you wrote it in only four months!
By your responses to prior reviews you already know you aren't Earnest Hemingway but still, I love what you did. (a Farewell to Arms is overrated anyways) It's like you took every crazy thought anyone secretly had and put them into one story. Michael sucking bad cheese head? Brilliant! God I love fanfiction!
I may leave additional reviews as I go through more chapters. I have at least 180 more opportunities to do so.
Thanks for all your creativity and many, many, many plot lines.
Gosh! How did this review get by me? We have issues with the email notices at times. Thank you very much for reading and commenting. My greatest regret for this story is how it ended; I like was just burned out and stopped with a sizzle instead of a swan song ending with a bang.
Currently I'm into planning the code for a totally new version of Whispers both as a website and mobile site. If I can ever finish it I'm certain that it will be most interesting and useful. For example, making stories in Kindle reading format, personalizing profile pages, chat rooms, interest groups, photo and video albums, etc.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORY EVER...! I really like how it is long enough so that you can really get into the story, whilst not getting boring and repetitive...! THANK YOU...!
Would you believe I wrote that monster in under 4 months. Then they adjusted my medication!
I burned out at the end and didn't give it a climax ending but got to say pretty much what I wanted. I tried to keep the character count under a hundred :D
If you want to read my crackfic days, try Embraced. I'm told it's wicked and so bad - it's good.
This story is amazing i really enjoy it, so creative the way you board in all the questions of the day life throughout the history! Liked the introduction of religion, i had the catholic education but sincerely i think that they are surrounded by hypocrisy.. the way that i see it why do we have to follow one book written thousands of years that interpretacion cause so many controversies and wars, in the end is all about love and understanding! Loved to see Justin Brian become like equals in the business and pull all his friends & family straight up with them, i admit that i was feel confused with all the characters i had to go back backward sometimes,but i had so much fun with it thank you! :) please consider writing in the future again ;) :)
Ps. sorry my english :)
Thank You! very much for your review comments. It warms my heart to see an old story still being read and enjoyed.
Don't be too hard on the Church. They did keep Christianity alive during some very dark ages for centuries. Granted, they changed some things but for the most part I believe most of the Bible is accurate, allowing for some errors in translations, coping, and such. Personally, I'm a student of Biblical Studies and hold a very high respect for the scriptures. I like to think the original manuscripts were accurate; however, all we have today is copies of copies of copies, and man has made some changes here and there over time for political and theological reasons.
I might also add that the Church created schools, hospitals, universities, and missions globally before any body else thought to help the poor around the world. Yes they made mistakes and performed wars at times, but they also did a great amount of good as well - all things considered.
It made my day to read your comment.
Hi, I'm fairly new to this pairing and absolutely love them. In the past I came from fandoms like Buffy or I should say Spuffy ;). I used to write fan fiction myself until RL just took over. I did, however, Beta for those instead. I say this with the utmost sincerest apology for the constructive criticism I'm about to impart to you. And yes, I'm well aware that you no longer write and I've read most of the comments.
You have an amazing story. I give you tons of credit for the patience and creativity for that alone. I do agree with some other reviewers it is too jam packed with other characters that you do lose sight of who the fan fiction should be about: Brian and Justin. The wedding was such a bummer. In it Brian and Justin's honeymoon is so downplayed and taken over because of Jerry and Mark. I was soooo puzzled by this. I understand original characters and, well, writing original stories, but this should have been about them.
This story seems to be a grocery list of fantastical elements of being rich and getting success and not enough of character growth. Let me explain as I'm only on chapter 49. I usually read pretty darn fast and some things do have me scratching my head and honestly having me skim most which is making me read this slower than I normally do. I hate doing that. Which parts do I skim? ANYTHING remotely close to religion. Not my cup of tea. I believe in a higher power and spiritual growth, but religion to me is just something I can't get into and I was brought up Catholic. So aside from my beliefs those aspects of your story I skim over, sorry! I'm sure it's a huge thing for gay communities, but I think it's always been a huge thing period and not just about gays. I think this is why most ARE commenting on the fact of racism and sexism. It is slightly there, but hey it IS your story!
But I digress back to what I was saying about religion... It's why there are cults. To me religion lost its belief and moved right into cult like aspects and with no way of coming back to what it should be. Sad, very sad. I don't know if this makes me an atheist, but I just don't read or like to be preached at. You somewhat do that in certain parts. It is one of the reasons why I stopped reading a certain main stream author's newer style of writing. It was too preachy. I shudder at that. BUT I do get these are your beliefs and so this is why I skim. You have every right to those beliefs. I commend you on them even...doesn't mean I like or follow them LOL!
That aside, yes you do have quite a bit of grammatical, spelling, and errors in this. You are not a lousy writer. Yes, I read your comment, lol! It needs to be polished, definitely. HOWEVER, it doesn't take away from the story at all. Are they noticeable? Yes. Can they be overlooked so the reader can continue reading? Absolutely! It's fan fiction not a Pulitzer piece of writing. It's fun and edgy and takes things outside the box! It's a creative piece of art. And I'm only a quarter in. I truly think it could have been condensed and I so wish I had found QAF Brian and Justin back when it was out, but I wasn't. And I wasn't into M/M then. I wasn't against it, but I never thought about it. Now I'm obsessed lol. I'm a straight single mom, but I've totally changed my view about things. Open minded (although I've always been that way) and open to constant change. Which this world is so divided with. Oh well...maybe one day!
I would have liked to have beta'd for you. I'm a detailed person, but your story is in an overabundance of those details. That grocery list. It could have been broken down as the changes were being made to Kinnetic. It makes me worry as I read some comments about all that success and Kinnetic is given to someone else? But, I will eventually finish and find out what that actually means. I just think it's too drawn out. This story would have been even more awesome if you had split it up. I do like how you split the scenes. I'm just still pouting that Brian and Justin take a more background, yet still in the front weirdly enough, role. It's almost like they are a side note which is a shame. A perfect example of blending supporting characters is Predec2's The Wedding Present's world. I know the second part of that series is more of Fin and Tony, but it was gradual and it flowed right in. Sadly, this is the missing factor with your saga. The blending of those supporting characters to blend with the leads. It seems to be going backwards and making me miss Brian's smart witty sarcasm and Justin's independence and strong personality. Character development did need work, but I still AM amazed at this incredible story! If you ever want to re-work or update this, I'd definitely love to help you out! Amazing work!
I promised a response with my message to you and here it is, alas a brief one since RL is still dominating my time.
I greatly appreciate you taking the time to provide such outstanding comments - corrections - advice - wisdom, regarding this story which frankly flowed out of me in a matter of a handful of months. Every fault you mentioned was true. I have no complaint whatsoever with your assessment. And you're too kind; I am a lousy writer! I've read many people in fan fiction who are just incredible with character and plot development. This story ends in a whimper when I burned out and had to bring it to a close. How did it drift from B&J? My bad; I just let my imagination run wild and wrote what flowed from me at the time. It was literally a work of magic writing with no true structure, form, or direction. I did plan to address the religious stuff since no one has ever done it with gay fan faction before to my knowledge. That part of the story got a lot of notice way beyond our little fan fiction universe. I'm not at liberty to say how high up the food chain this went but I can say it shocked me when it happened, and adding to the debate was my goal and for that it was a success.
Be careful what you ask for! If you really do want to redo this epic tale, than go for it. You should be able to copy and paste each chapter in WORD or something and just send me the revised chapter. I'll update each chapter as you work it over. If you want to really redo the story, I'm down for that too, and will share co-author credit for you once we post the completed thing back online like a new revised version of the tale. I'm prepared to give you a blank check to change or remove anything you don't like, including the religion stuff. I'll be very easy to work with. However, this will be a huge undertaking if you decide to take it own. And we have time - it doesn't have to be finished in some quick time line.
I don't write fan fiction anymore. I have many skillets on the stove as it is and have no time for such pleasure again. And I was slowed down by health for a long time before a heart surgery got me back into the game of life again. You should have my private email address if you kept it, or just use the Contact Us feature from Whispers. I get those messages first since most of them or technical and for others, I forward to Kim.
Thank you very much for your review JBY. Give it some thought, and let me know how you decide.
After the third try I finished your story-- I loved Brian and Justin and the Lindsey mess, I enjoy anything to do with Gus, his Hershey ad was delightful and his interview with "ohpa" was so sweet. I liked the relationship with Mel and Brian, still witty but not anger driven. The parts I did't care for were large amount of characters, I finally had to write them down and who fucked who and who was bi and who was gay,keeping up the surrogates and which child belonged to whom--it took a lot of time and was distracting, also all the church stuff was too much, in other storiest by different authors handled the hate mongers and was less detailed one comes to mind is Prego stud it touched on hateful people who use their faith as a weapon against others out of fear or just feeling they are so better than others. I read your work when ever I spot it and always enjoy-sorry I'm critical over some your story for the most part I loved it-hope I don't sound mean or harsh I don't mean to.
I totally understand the faults of this story. It wasn't planned but instead just flowed out of me like a rushing river of words. Heck, even I got mixed up with the characters at times and had to go back and read what was written to try and keep it all straight. The Bible stuff was to share with the fan fiction community the theology of gay Christians who have a large source of evidence that give a totally different new light on the Bible and Homosexuality. Gay men and boys existed at the time of Christ and were called naturally born eunuchs (Matthew 19:12). That name was still in use by the early Church in 400 AD that I'm aware of. Well they don't tell you that in Sunday School so someone has to share the evidence and put a new light on the Word. The Bible has been used to promote wars, genocides, slavery, and more recently even making interracial marriage a crime. Now they still try to use it against gays and I predict that some way they'll figure out how to use some verses to battle illegal aliens too, since they seem to be the next politically correct targets for the masses.
To my knowledge this QAF story is the only one that has attempted to bring Christian Gay Theology to the reading public of fan fiction. It seems to have been very popular and remains today the most read story on Whispers.
I love all your stories.
I hope you are planning to write more.
Thank you for commenting. Due to RL matters I have no plans to write again at this time.
Dear Bob - I have just finished reading Forever Yours for the fourth time. What can I say, you are an incredible story teller. One big question? About 3 years ago I read a story about Brian and Justin that was really excellent but also different. It was very long and had Justin becoming wealthy thru his art work alone. It also had something called "landing" and delt with Brian and Justin having additional close relations with other men while also keeping their relationship primary. Like this story it had sub stories, photos and had the two investing and becoming very wealthy. I just loved it. The way it was written made me think that you were also the author. I have looked for it, but never found it again. Are you the arthor and if you are, where can I find it? Please reply.
What an honor that you would read this monster size story 4 times! I can't remember the name of the other story but yes, I wrote it and decided to take it off line. Basically it went too far revealing things that were not my secrets to share. I had a copy of it on a thumb drive but an ex-roommate used the thumb drive and erased it so now I don't have a copy of it anywhere. I wish I had better news for you but that one is probably gone. Thank you very much for your comments.
Just finish all the chapters, took me a while but finally anyway I like it but I just have some few corrections.
1. There are a lot of grammar and spelling mistake.
2. Some dialogue doesn't make sense.
3. You have too many supporting characters and because of that you had a hard time keeping tract of them. for example. Frenchie was jerry and Mark's Chef but in one chapter he became Brian and Justin's chef?
4. You have character with the same name but different spelling. You had accidentally put Trey as the Chef when it was suppose to be Tray.
I hope your not mad, I do like your story but I think this are some of the things you need to be aware of so you won't have the same mistake again in your story.
Anyway I'm off to read your story embraced. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it quickly.
Thanks BrianNJustin for your review. Everything you say is true. I'm a lousy writer and will be the first to admit it. I'm working on a B.S. degree and don't write fan fiction anymore.
It's a great story with a very beautiful storyline, thank you so much!!!I will miss them!!!
It warms my heart to see some dust fly off one of the older stories as a new review lands there. You're so kind to give a comment, and one so gracious too. Thank you for the smile.
OMG that was HOT
Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and comment Tash.
OMG I love jerry and mark
OMG that was so intense but extremely well written I couldn't stop tearing up
Thank you Tash; I can't say how many times I've read that chapter and wondered 'did I write that?'
I've loved the story up until now you give such great description and suck detail to everything!!!!!!! But I'm very disappointed that you brought Lindsay back into the picture, I feel she should have gone to prison and been out of there lives, I'm strongly thinking about whether to continue reading this story, now that she is back in the picture.
Thank you for your review. I assure you that Lindsay does not get off easy, and realize that multiple subplots or in the story.
It took me a really long time, but I finally managed to finish this story.... All I can really say is that I absolutely LOVED it and it was worth every second I spent reading it! :D The only thing that got me sad was Hunter's death T_T.... Anyway, hope to read you soon in another story! :D Kisses!
Due to health I got behind on answering reviews. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
I love a really long story. This one kept me busy for a whole week! Thanks for writing! TAG
Forgive my late response. I don't do much but sleep lately. Thanks Tag for reading and commenting. This one is long!
I love this chapter!!! Thanks!
Better late than never. Sorry I missed this review back then and the only excuse I have was poor health back then.